I’m a Planner…with Nothing to Plan

I’m a Planner.

Planning is my super power. It’s what I do best. I’m the one in our family who already planned, shopped, and wrapped gifts for holidays and events, long before it’s on anyone else’s radar. I schedule our social events, appointments, vacations, kids events, and also plan our downtime. I work with the Planner Queen, Erin Condren, for goodness sakes!

And now, I have nothing to plan.

COVID-19 is spreading around the world at lightening speed, and we all need to stay home to fight this together. While my brain logically knows this, I’m not gonna lie, my brain has trouble some days. I’m a planner at heart. Covid-19 has taken away the one thing that grounds me and keeps me calm… my love of planning.

planner with covid
Really enjoying our time together as a family.

I simply do not know when I’ll be able to plan again, or even how future planning will look.

This pandemic has disrupted not only my carefully laid plans for the next few months, but also disrupted plans for millions of others. Graduations, weddings, funerals, sporting events and concerts to name a few. It’s all cancelled for the unforeseeable future.

No wonder we’re worried, unsettled, uncomfortable and anxious. I worry about losing these milestones and this period of time, and how it will impact me AND society. And since this pandemic is unprecedented, there’s no guidance from history.

I fully appreciate there are grave consequences for many people; financial pressures, pressures for some to work the front lines despite this deadly virus trying to kill us, and the fact people are dying in hospital corridors. I’m not at all trying to rank suffering. I simply think it would be a mistake to underestimate the pain and disappointment we feel from these losses.

Missing your high school graduation is pretty devastating to a senior who’s worked four years for their high school victory lap. Missing a soccer tournament in Mexico after being called up to represent your state out of hundreds of thousands of kids your age feels pretty devastating. Losing a parent and being unable to grieve the ‘normal’ way surrounded by loved ones with a celebration of life also must be devastating.

Working from home in my Comfy during Covid-19

For these reasons I feel sad and anxious some days. I’m desperately aware these moments we are all missing have consequences, and a final semester on a high school campus cannot be rescheduled. It is simply canceled. I live to connect with and experience people. This loss of human experience and interaction is hard for me.

I’m choosing to exercise and journal through these times, paying special attention to my feelings. Because I have many (just ask Hot Hubby! 😉 ) Anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration, fear… yet sometimes… dare I say it… slotted in between those yucky feelings, I sometimes feel happiness, contentment, and joy.

planner covid-19

I’m trying to see our immediate ‘losses’ as a blessing for our family. We’ve never spent weeks together uninterrupted by others, and probably never will again. I have two teenage boys each with one foot planted firmly in our family, and one foot desperately seeking independence. I’m trying to turn this into an opportunity to make meaningful memories. And bring our whole family closer.

What’s that saying? Something about ‘the best laid plans of mice and men often go askew’ or perhaps ‘it’s very rare that an event can be negative from all points of view’.

Either way, it’s clear there are some valuable lessons for this seasoned Planner to learn and experience.  I’m going to give myself grace when I need it and dig deep with these feelings.

See you on the other side lovelies!

 

Are you a Planner having trouble with nothing to plan right now?

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About The Author

Samantha

I’m a travel and health writer, digital and brand consultant, breast cancer survivor, and supermom to two active boys! I keep it real and share stories of raising feral wolves teenage boys, family life after a cancer diagnosis, and family travels around the world! Each story is shared with my dry, and sometimes naughty sense of humor.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Kathleen Pappa | 10th Apr 20

    Samantha, this was written perfectly and sums up my feelings as well. I have to admit I like having my nest “full” again with everyone home but know that it is best for a small season. Sometimes I feel blessed for having my family together so much and then feel bad for feeling that way because so many are suffering right now. Thanks for sharing this post. ❤️

    • Samantha | 13th Apr 20

      There are so many complicated feelings right now and they seem to change for me each week. Hope you and your family are staying safe and healthy.

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